What Makes Compassion Different?

   One of the questions that comes up when discussing Compassion is: what makes it different from sympathy or empathy?

   Let’s start by looking at the etymology of the words themselves.

   Sympathy derives from the Greek sumpatheia: sun-, like +  pathos, emotion; a relationship or affinity between persons or things in which whatever affects one correspondingly affects the other (American Heritage Dictionary, College Edition).

   Empathy also derives from Greek, empatheia, meaning passion; identification with and understanding of another’s situation, feelings, and motives (American Heritage).

   Compassion, on the other hand, finds its roots in the Latin compassio: com-, with +  pati, to suffer; the deep feeling of sharing the suffering of another, together with the inclination to give aid or support or to show mercy (American Heritage).

   Other dictionaries have slightly different wording for the definition of compassion, for example Merriam-Webster dictionary defines compassion as a sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it.

   Although often used interchangeably by many, it is clear by their derivations that these words have very different meanings.

   Yes, one most likely feels sympathy or empathy as a part of acting compassionately, but compassion contains an action component, which is left out of many purported “acts” of compassion. I often see news stories about people feeling compassion for another person’s plight. That would constitute an incorrect usage of the word (if I were still a newspaper editor) unless there was a corresponding action or desire to relieve the victim’s suffering.

   In current translations of some Biblical passages, as well as translations of Aristotle, the word compassion replaced the word pity, from the Latin pietas, or dutiful; implying a disposition to help but not necessarily empathetic involvement (American Heritage). Footnotes on later translations say the word “pity” has taken on negative or pejorative connotations that weren’t implied originally.

   That brings me to another question which often comes up around this point in the discussion: Can one act compassionately without feeling empathy or sympathy? By my understanding that would fall under the moniker of charity, which comes from the Latin caritas, meaning affection; the provision of help or relief to the poor; or an act or feeling of benevolence, good will, or affection (American Heritage).

   I learned in my reading this summer that in the 1800s, in both England and America, there were various “charity associations” set up to help the poor. In some cases these associations took it upon themselves to remove children from impoverished homes and place them with wealthier families. Social justice critics saw this action as merely a way to keep child laborers healthy enough to drive the engines of the Industrial Revolution (before the days of child labor laws).

   This has led to charity being viewed by those in need as something that is dispensed to them, or imposed upon them, without consideration for whether they want the help or not. (I remember my mother telling me that during the Great Depression, her family refused charity because they didn't want be seen by other members of their community as being unable to take care of themselves. Such was the stigma of accepting charity.)

   Which brings me back to compassion. One integral component in the ethical practice of compassion is to make sure I am not infringing on another’s rights to self-determination by acting to relieve the other’s suffering. Do they want my help? I may think they need it, but that is meaningless unless I have their permission. To merely go around “fixing” or “helping” people without their willing participation is condescending and disrespectful. Not only that, it calls into question my motivation. Am I doing this for them, or to make myself feel better? (Not that feeling good about what I do is wrong, I just need to be clear about my motivations.)

   How we use our words says a lot about how we view the world. Understanding the difference between compassion and related terms helps me clarify my actions and motivations, and assists me in focusing on my goal of becoming a more compassionate person.

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   For more information on the subject of compassion, including links to research and some good books on the subject, go to: www.CompassionSpace.com.